God I don't even know where to start, today was all over the place
So devastated that I lost Veto, you have no idea. That one was mine to lose and I stumbled while doing it. I'm really horrible under those high pressure scenarios every single time. BUT no use focusing on that. Ryan won and came off the block
The question of the day was who would Drew renom, and he created a MESS out of it. I spent all day running through each possible renom and thinking about whose vote I have against any given person. It was really difficult working on voters without knowing who I would even be against, especially since several thought that I could end up being against them so it was a bit awkward
When I woke up it was looking like it would be Candice. Drew told Candice it was very possibly gonna be her. To do that and not nominate her....is so stupid. It's literally like Brian's week one HoH reign, I dunno what Drew was thinking
Being against Candice would've sucked because I wouldn't wanna lose her, but it was all about self preservation. Word got around that it might be her so I started to work on people with that scenario in mind. Candice told Zach she would stay against me, but it was actually kiiinda looking like a good bet for me. The votes seemed to be there but there's no way of really knowing
But that didn't happen. Drew talked to Zach about who he should renom. He only considered Candice, Shilpa, or Brittany. I was praaaaying it wasn't Brittany, my best bet seemed to be against another power player who most agreed were Shilpa or Candice. No such luck
So after being the most elusive HoH of all time, Drew finally posted. It sucked that it was Brittany, and Zach and I considered trying to sway him another way, but it was a relief knowing who I was against now so I could really focus in on my arguments
PERSON BY PERSON:
Drew's influence is gonna go a long way for this vote. It's still early and some people will still do what the HoH wants. He's told me and others that Brittany is his target and that he wants me to stay. I really wanna believe him, right now I'd say that I do but it's hard to tell with him. He's been very apologetic to me about putting me in this position in the first place and says he wishes he hadn't. He's told others he really likes me and wants me to stay which is great, I feel a lot better hearing things he's told others about me vs. things he's told me tbh. My main argument to him is that Ryan will be against him now which means he has the powerhouse trio against him. I told him our agendas line up since Heaven and I were enemies in our season and that I'm someone who can compete and go against them. I need him with me. If I don't have him then I'm in huge trouble, he's key
Also key! We had a good talk after the Casey vote and cleared things up, I think it went well. People have been counting Shilpa as a for sure vote for me but I've had some doubts. I can't assume anyone is a for sure vote just because they're a friend, that was Casey's mistake. Zach and I had some suspicion that Shilpa was behind a lot of what on this week. After having a horrible week one, she seems to be having a really great week two. Nicole leaves, Chris leaves, and she was trying to get Candice up and out. Three people who were against her/Casey last week. I know she's close with Drew, so she might've been in his ear and told him to nominate me. I hope to god I'm just being paranoid. Her and I talked tonight and she said she really wants to trust each other and work together, and that the first week was just a hiccup. I honestly don't know why she would say these things (after Brit was up) if she was just gonna evict me. I know I was elusive with her/Casey last week and non-committal, but I just don't get why she would go out of her way to say those things to me and then evict me. Unless she was on some crazy revenge kick for Casey and wanted to get dirty with it. HOPE NOT!
Thought she'd be a for sure vote...but now I'm nervous (this will be a trend). I got really weird vibes from her tonight. She was being kinda short with myself and Zach, it was weird. DIDN'T LIKE IT! I'm really afraid that I said something about her today that she heard about. Like earlier when I was treating it as if it'd be me vs. Candice, I might've said the wrong thing during my early campaigning. I hope I didn't, I can't think of anything bad I said and didn't throw her under the bus, except telling Shilpa that Candice was trying to get Drew to put her up. Shilpa and her are against each other though, so unless it's staged or they made up I don't see why Shilpa would tell her
Mike's in a rough spot. He told me he really trusts Brittany and doesn't wanna see her leave, but that me staying is better for his game. I'm telling him that I'm dead set against Sofia and the rest of the trio. I gotta use his rivalry with Sofia to my advantage for sure. Told him basically what I told Drew, that I'm a number against the trio and also a target for them. I wanna work with Mike going forward if I survive and I made sure he knows that our agendas will align really well. He told me he was leaning towards keeping me and apparently told others the same. I feel okay with him right now but not 100%, he just likes Brittany so much
Bonded a lot this week over being nominated. Our goal was to get one of us off the block and find a way for the other to stay. Really hope he honors that. He told me he has my vote against any single person in the renom. I kinda believe him, he seems like an honest guy and he doesn't really have tons of social connections for other options I think. Plus we're both 'against Drew' now so that helps
No idea, only one I haven't talked to today because she wasn't on. I like her a lot and she seems to like me. She told me during initial noms that she has my back and that she'll keep me in a vote. Now that it's me/Brit instead of me/Ryan, I hope that hasn't changed. For whatever reason I've suspected her and Brit might be together. Her vote might be tough
THIS FUCKING GUY
He is so hard to work on. I'll be talking things out with him about why it's good for his game to keep me, and then suddenly he gets into some tangent about what I think the next HoH will be or what happened in my season. KNOCK IT OFF KNUCKLEHEAD. I'm trying to save myself here
I told him I have his back and I'm acting like #Brick is an actual thing and that we're together. He seems receptive to some of it and did promise me his vote. Then he went to Shilpa and tried to feel her out in terms of saving Brittany. Fucking Brian. Thinks he's so sneaky. Drew told him that Brit was saying some shit about him because of week one and that she also told Drew he should nominate him. He's blinded by Brittany tho and loves her. So it's Brian's little schoolyard crush on Brit VS. our hatred for each other and the fact that we shit all over each other whenever we PW games the other is in. Looking good!!!!
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I'm super nervous. I wanna stay so bad and I think I'll be in a really good position if I do. If I do stay, it might've actually been a really good week for me because of the relationships I'd have presumably made if everyone and their mother isn't lying to me
I feel okay right now but I'm gonna keep working on it. I've literally been sitting here all day talking to people and campaigning, it's exhausting but fun and hopefully rewarding. I'm praying that there isn't more going on with this vote and that there's no secret group forming to go against me or that Shilpa/Drew are actually targeted me or some shit like that. The good thing is, me, Zach, other allies etc haven't heard a word about anyone wanting me gone. The people in this house seem to really like me and I haven't heard about a single person saying they want me to leave this week short of Brian seeming to consider it
I work for the last few hours of the deadline tomorrow which is a bummer. That's valuable time and I know Brittany isn't gonna stop. The hours leading up to the vote are so critical so that could really hurt me
Gonna non-stop barf tomorrow until votes are revealed
I was worried I'd wake up to a change or bad news. Shilpa just messaged me and said I need to work on a vote because the other four are evicting me, the four apparently being Hayley/Brian/Ryan/Mike
Hayley messaged me just now and said she's evicting me. She's super close to Brittany so it's understandable. I just hope she doesn't fight for Brittany to stay. She told me Brian/Mike have been talking it through but that they're likely keeping me. Mike seems to know it's smarter for him and Brian will vote with the house
Now Brian's talking to me and telling me basically all the same stuff. Says that him and Mike talked it out and that they're keeping me. SUPER worried though. All it takes is one of Candice, Shilpa, or Ryan to flip and gather those three up to go against me. Or Drew if those three tell him they're flipping and he boots me in a tie
Talked to Ryan via PM. He says he's keeping me for sure and that I don't have to worry about his vote. I thiiink I kinda trust him more than I trust most others surprisingly? We haven't had a ton of talks but whenever we do I feel really good about them. I really feel like he's a straight shooter and is being honest with me
Brian and Mike seemed to continue to debate earlier today, but Mike told me he already voted to keep me and that he's solid. Brian seems to have folded that way and told me that him/Mike are evicting Brit. Drew talked to Brian and everything they apparently talked about fits with what I heard. If people are lying, they're doing a pretty great job because no one has slipped. Everything is adding up with what I've heard and what Zach/Memphis and other allies have heard
I worked so hard and said whatever I had to in order to survive this. It's so rewarding to have it pay off, especially since so many people said I would be fucked against Brittany because she's too likable. I'm so pumped right now
Brittany and I exchanged nice words when she left. She's super nice so it's a shame that she's leaving so early. I liked her a lot. Nicole leaving really sucks. I had a good thing going with her and would've liked to continue it, she got fucked
This might've ended up being a really good week for me. Sucks to be on the block so early but it's nice to have survived it without Veto. Shows me who I can trust and who's willing to go to bat for me. I have some deals now that spawned from this situation and made a few promises that I'm gonna have to try to keep...maybe
this reminded me of the saddest video I've ever seen that has forever broken my heart... When you were voted out of Shadow Survivor Allstars. I've never been so devastated after someone else's vote! Happy to see a nice video of these for you lol