Brian Brings It Back

[Brian]

So, I've been working on a DR, and I'll get to that soon, but...holy shit! Anything really CAN happen this season!

[Brian]

Do my eyes deceive me? I won HOH! Not came close and bitched about it, not "got smoked entirely", and not "won it by coming second per a twist", but won it through getting more guesses right than anybody in my house. I'm still kind of smiling like an idiot because I had to re-read it like 3 times just to make sure. I actually wasn't at all prepared for this so when it happened I had to take an hour for myself to sort my head out. This multiple house twist is something that most people seemed to expect and liking everybody actually makes me picking 2 nominees harder than it would be in other situations. The button twist is pretty crazy too. As soon as I saw who won HOH in House 2, and saw that Button option available, I pretty much knew that Mike was going to try and press it, and that's something he confirmed to me tonight.

As for nominees, I have to look at this week as HOH as possibly my only comp win for a long time and think of what I can do that will keep me off the block in the future. Most people have said they don't talk to Hayley much, and really I was already thinking of putting her and Boog up as both of them are like question marks to me since I don't really know much about them or the finer details of their seasons. Neda suggested putting Danielle up, but I'm in a spot where I have Season 7 and Season 8 connections. I don't want to burn one of those right off the bat. I actually started the game off by trying to do a fair share of "hatchet-burying" with Zach, Neda, and Candice (who said she was Sarah in S7), and whether or not they said it just to try and manipulate me later or not, it was genuine on my end.

If I could actually work with Neda and/or Brittany that could be good, but I know Brittany had something with Sofia last time, and Neda was against me so I can't go trusting it unconditionally and not following up on other things of my own. Neda mentioned Brittany and Memphis knowing each other out of ORGs and how Memphis got her into the series, which was something I either didn't know/forgot about, and something that made me remember people like Zach probably expect me to share everything with Nicole (which I don't intend on doing). As it is for me in House 1, Heather's probably who I trust most, and while I like Christine, I'm somewhat skeptical of her. Either way, my plan's to use this week to get some alliances going for myself, so that hopefully next round I can fade into the background a bit and let some of the bigger strategic threats go after each other.

[Brian]

Huh, just noticed but 2 girls were put up by a guy HOH, 2 guys were put up by a girl HOH, and a guy and a girl were put up by an HOH that (I think) is a guy playing a girl. That's actually kind of amusing.

[Shir]

Why is that amusing? Idgi

[Brian]

I just thought that everyone did opposites was kind of funny. Hey, the few people I mentioned it to thought the same thing...all 3 of them...

[Brian]

Ah, I get back from being out until a couple of hours ago to have this replacement stuff dropped in my lap. It's a little irritating, but it's my fault for not winning POV and I'm kinda in between a rock and a hard place.

- If what Neda said about Brittany/Memphis is true, then naming Memphis as the replacement pisses them both off at me, which would suck.

- Christine's made it known that she in no way wants any part of the block and would be pretty shocked and disappointed if she was put up, which is pretty fair.

- Danielle is someone I straight up told I wouldn't put up as a replacement if Veto got used before the comp happened. However, I hear she disappeared and isn't nearly as social as I thought she'd be, and I kind of gave her that reassurance under the implication that she wouldn't up and vanish.

I don't want to start coming across as more untrustworthy than I might already have to Danielle and that, but it might be that if I don't put Dani up, people start thinking something fishy. I'll give it half an hour, and then the replacement's getting posted for better or worse.

[Brian]

So, I messed up at the start of the POV comp, lost about 2 minutes of time, and now I'm here with it looking like my HOH week is going to end on a much different note than I wanted it to when I started. It's looking like it'll even be different than (from my perspective) it was going to be 24 hours ago. The re-nom process was all sorts of a mess and something I went back and forth on until a bit before posting, and even though I feel like I did the right thing for my game, I know I did Danielle wrong and I feel bad about it. It's been sounding like she just gave up after she was put up, and that her campaigning has been almost nonexistent. That sort of thing does make me wonder if I like, actually hurt her by putting her up or something, which I hope isn't the case, but I just have to have faith that she understands I have no choice. I probably in actuality shouldn't have been hesitant to put her up in the first place since it probably made people wonder why or think I have a close alliance with her or something.

I almost had one of my Season 7 moments of freaking out last night, but I actually was able to stop myself before it fully got quite that bad. It was worse than I wanted yeah, and certainly made me look a bit flustered, and Neda joked (I think she was joking at least) that I should "stick to POVs". I've been trying to pull myself together more today, and I certainly feel more calm on things today than I did yesterday. I've gotta at least make the attempt to be and come across as confident I made the right choice and that my composure truly is better than it used to be. Sure having a conscience and being thoughtful sounds nice, but I need people I want to work with to know they can count on me to keep it together and be strong (at least mentally if nothing else) down the line when the time comes to make the tough decisions and stand by what I mean.. You know, "weak people can't be sincere" and all that.

[Brian]

Well, there goes 3 people that I could've seen myself working with out the door in the first week so I guess, oops.

It sort of figures that I'm the only outgoing HOH that didn't get what I wanted. Now, granted with Sofia the person she wanted out went inactive anyway, whereas I had the person I wanted to stay go inactive so really, it's all outside factors stuff and I'm way over it.

Nicole saying how she wanted Casey to go and he did since "he's a threat" and all that was random since you don't want to be all "down with who I say!" right out of the bat. Like, it's a marathon girl, chill. I mean, no disrespect to her. She's pretty much around the same level as me on stuff anyway, and her whole bit of "talking like she's younger than she is" and that stuff disarms people and makes them underestimate her, which I understand. The thing is though, from what I've seen lately she kind of has these moments where she gets weirdly short-sighted. Hopefully at some point it doesn't impact me, but hey, maybe later down the line I can take what (from an outsider perspective and what she told me) appears to be Shilpa being upset and have it benefit me. Who knows?

[Brian]

I know I probably shouldn't like...be a bit of a dick and find reasons for nominations kind of funny but...I did kind of have a little bit of a hard time holding it at Nicole going up for being "intimidating". That's literally the first time I've ever seen that word used to describe her. She'd think I'm hating on her or selling her short, but I'm not. I'm just surprised. Heather winding up getting backdoored and out despite being in another house for now would suck though.

[Brian]

There's...going to be a rather longer DR entry coming up soon on some stuff that needs to be said. *sigh* You try, and try, and try...

[Brian]

So firstly, sorry to Estelle and Kat for the well, I guess technical issues with the POV. That's actually the first time I've ever seen that happen.


A lot happened in the past 24 hours or so, and a bunch of it wasn't exactly things that I was thrilled with. Well, maybe not so much that there were a lot of things I was displeased with as it is that what went down got me pretty down. After the Nomination Ceremony where my key got pulled last (which didn't really bother me that much), Drew told me that everybody had come to him about getting me nominated with "maybe a couple of people suggesting Hayley". Pretty much, that bit just meant 1-2 people tops suggested she go up next to me, and that really got to me. I guess it's just that I've been trying to work really hard this game on not making the same mistakes I made the time before, on approaching situations and people differently, and be better overall. Hearing something like this tells me that either it's not working at all, or that nobody cares enough to give me the chance. To me, both situations are equally disturbing since as much as I'm playing the game like everybody else, my attempts at fixing up a bunch of things are sincere.

I actually told Nicole about what Drew said, and we wound up arguing over things to do with it while I pretty much got my frustrations out of my system. It didn't really turn super hostile, but the important thing for me is that I didn't go off on anybody else. Ultimately, I have to accept that there's really no reason for Drew to lie to me about that since it'd be just as easy to not have said anything, and that there's still a lot more work for me to do. I could sit here and flip out and vent about how that'd be the "dumbest fucking thing in the world" (even if I do think it doesn't make sense and would be a waste), but really it's more of a wake-up call to tell me some shit's going on. I figured I'd be good to be able to get some alliance going with Mike and Ryan, and that I was at least in a good enough spot with Brittany, Candice, Nick, and Shilpa, but I guess not.

It's unpleasant to hear a lot of people you get along with consider you expendable and not part of any alliance they'd want to have, but I can't let something like that keep me down too much. If me helping Drew out for keeping me off the block turns into a better situation down the line, then thinking purely rationally, I'd be dumb not to do it. Of course, something could always come up in the meantime though. In this game, I'm willing to work with literally anybody...except of course for Sofia.

[Brian]

(Uh, I didn't mean for this to be this long. I guess I just like writing about the game sometimes, lol.)

Since Ryan won veto things have been kind of crazy and all over the place. Like, there was all this stuff going on about who the replacement would be and whether it'd be Shilpa or Candice. Then all of a sudden Drew decides he's going to go and make his last call (well other than a tie) as HOH into something that he and only he got set on. He throws Brittany up and we're all like "wait, what the fuck?" because of how out of the blue it is. I commend him for it since if he's doing the same thing Nick is, then that's one way to help get it done. It puts a target on him sure, but that just means the bigger comp threats will be after him first and I'll probably at least get an extra week to evaluate.

Brit asked me for my vote, but I told her that I couldn't just throw my vote if it wasn't going to make a difference. Also though, there's that Drew mentioned how she and Hayley had been pushing hardest for me to go up, with Brittany citing poor communication (though I thought I was pretty clear on what I wanted), and Hayley because obvious reasons. Even before the initial nominations were made, Nick was talking about taking down Sofia, Heaven, and Ryan. While I've got nothing against Ryan, and only really know Heaven for being good at comps, there's no doubt at all that those three are huge threats in this game. Plus, Sofia was super tight with Brittany, and as much as I may like Brit, she was the reason I went home in S7, threw me under the bus here, and could maybe lead to Zach/Neda working with Sofia again.

I have to look at all of these possible connections and things and assume that Nick's got to have some. Yeah, other than Drew, I have no idea where anybody from S9 stands, the S10 people (minus maybe Candice) are question marks overall, and I don't know where Mike falls, but...I know Sofia just flat out won't help me out for even a round.

I know this is going on long, but I talked to Heather, Matt, and some people and it looks like Nicole's going home in House 3 and that Matt and Heather have left her high and dry. It's especially surprising to hear from Heather and makes me a little skeptical of her, but overall it kinda sucks a bit. Yeah, I was likely going to have to vote out Nicole sooner or later, and yeah I wanted to do better than her, but she said before she was nominated she really wanted to do well in the game. I thought she was good with Christine, and Nicole said she wished she hit the button, so I don't know, maybe I'm partly to blame for it in some way. I can't help but feel a little bit of an urge to "avenge her" or something, but I'm in no position to do that right now, and lashing out and getting mad at people isn't gonna help it.

[Brian]

Ah, this challenge. I'm certainly going to give it a good try, but I suspect I could study all night and day and botch this. Taking bets, what are the odds I get a/the Brian one wrong?

[Brian]

After the Evictions were posted, Ash came up to me talking about how he was pissed and upset with me. I didn't really know why he suddenly would be so I figured it had to do with a game of his I'm a PW for, but he said it had to do with this game. He thought I was going around trying to influence the vote by talking to everyone in his House or something. The thing is...I didn't do that though. I only went to Heather and Matt (Heather more than Matt) and after talking in general, asked how things were looking over there. That's just making conversation though, that's not trying to influence what's going on. Yeah, I didn't want Nicole to go, but even I know openly pushing to change the vote this early is a bad idea. He said I should just stick to my house from now on when it comes to talking but...I'm pretty sure almost everybody talks to the other houses, so...yeah.


Anyway, the conversation is included below if you want to read it.

SPOILER: Click to show

Brian Hart 12:08 am
hey

RNF - Ash 12:08 am
hey

Brian Hart 12:09 am
how's it going?

RNF - Ash 12:09 am
ok
Honestly I'm a little upset with you

Brian Hart 12:11 am
I'm sorry, I know I should be more active
I didn't mean to slack as a pw

RNF - Ash 12:11 am
No not because of the PW because of RnF

Brian Hart 12:11 am
why's that?

RNF - Ash 12:11 am
I don't like how you tried to influence a vote you had no part of last round
Playing at 11 is not a good look

Brian Hart 12:12 am
I just asked some people what was going on with the vote

RNF - Ash 12:12 am
Especially when I know there's a lot of people wanting you out in the game, you're just making a bigger target on yourself

Brian Hart 12:12 am
I wasn't really influencing anything

RNF - Ash 12:13 am
You didn't influence anything but you tried and it got around

Brian Hart 12:13 am
but, I didn't though
I talked to a grand total of 2 people, and asked them about how things were looking over there. That's not "trying to influence the vote" and anybody who said it was isn't being truthful with you

RNF - Ash 12:15 am
Well then from here on out just stick to the house you're in

Brian Hart 12:16 am
personally, knowing who those 2 people are, I'm kind of upset they'd take what happened and try and twist it into something it wasn't.
and yeah, I know sticking to your own house sounds fine and dandy, but I'm pretty sure most other people don't.

RNF - Ash 12:17 am
You're not the only person that did it
But it really made it clear that voting out Nicole was the right decision

Brian Hart 12:17 am
that what, talks to people outside of their own house? Yeah, I'd say that obvious or none of the people I talked to would be answering

RNF - Ash 12:18 am
And I'm glad outside influences didn't change the vote even though they got to Matt

Brian Hart 12:18 am
so outside influences made Matt decide not to vote so he couldn't play in HOH?
That...seems a little farfetched
And if there were outside influences trying to have an impact or factor in on the vote, I understand that and wouldn't be surprised. Just don't have me grouped in with that.

RNF - Ash 12:19 am
He didn't want to burn the people who were pressuring him to keep Nicole
He didn't want to burn the people he just told he was voting Nicole out

Brian Hart 12:20 am
well, doing one or the other at least would've made 1 happy instead of upsetting both

RNF - Ash 12:20 am
Do you actually think he lost power and couldn't vote?

Brian Hart 12:20 am
I never saw the reason

RNF - Ash 12:20 am
He's a complete goat now, nobody is going to waste their time taking out nothing

Brian Hart 12:20 am
so since I never saw the reason and didn't know he didn't vote until the hoh got posted, I had no reason to think anything

RNF - Ash 12:21 am
He knew yesterday at 4:30 he was voting out Nicole until suddenly people start pitching for her to stay and he had even lied to Nicole saying he'd keep her
He's fake and a wimp

Brian Hart 12:24 am
oh damn

Brian Hart 12:27 am
I appreciate you telling me though so that I can clear up my end, but please don't go and group me in on something that isn't the case.

[Brian]

So, was going through a couple of old seasons thinking maybe the "Talk That Talk" comps would be there to check (at least a couple like S7's are down though), and I found the part in S8 where Matt said he "wasn't allowed to tell the noms how he was voting because of the rules". Now, even without that Ash convo, Matt's "I didn't know what a bootlist was" reason would've been shall we say "sketchy at best". That kinda just reminded me it's "business as usual" for him though.