Week 4 Diary Room

[Mike Dutz]

Great, I'm being roped into an alliance where I'll have to keep every person I don't like safe. Time to throw throw throw challenges I guess. 

Matt is is talking to Christine and Christine wants her, Boog, Ash, me and Matt, Shilpa, and Neda. I don't like Christine, Boog, or Ash. But if they will keep me safe...I guess I take it for now. 

[Mike Dutz]

Except, Christine still didn't talk to me about it which tells me she isn't serious about it. I'll see if it even gets mentioned tomorrow. If it does, I'd still have Sofia, Heaven, Ryan, Candice, Heather that I could nominate if I win an HoH. We shall see...

[Mike Dutz]

I made a deal with Sofia not to backdoor each other.

The alliance got finalized between myself, Matt, Shilpa, Christine right now. This alliance works for me because I like Matt and Shilpa and it brings in someone that worried me a bit (Christine). It is also small and doesn't include the people I was worried about (Boog and Ash) so that is good that I can throw them back into the pool of potential nominees.

[Mike Dutz]

"Sofia & Mika are the new HOHs"

Who the hell is this Mika bitch and who does she think she is taking over my HoH?

[Mike Dutz]

Barring Sofia stealing one of my nominees I will likely put up Candice and Ash in the hopes they lose, I stay HoH and then I can backdoor Heaven. I already spoke to Candice and told her that I would use the veto on her in this scenario if I win it.

[Mike Dutz]

Ash came to me and volunteered to be nominated. Uh ok. But I did talk to him and I told him I would like to see Heaven leave this round so I need to be able to backdoor her. He says he'll throw the BOTB. Okay...I don't think either of them will throw it but we'll see.

[Mike Dutz]

Annoying.

[Mike Dutz]

It is unfortunate when something like this happens where I'm close to both nominees. I'm closer to Hayley because we are friends outside of the game and have a common circle of ORG friends.  I know Hayley would have my back in this game.  We agreed to work together.

However, with the formation of an alliance between myself, Shilpa, Matt, and Christine it doesn't make the decision an easy one.  I can't very well turn my back on an alliance after less than a round of working together.  And I am close to Shilpa as well.  Plus, Shilpa has a greater chance of winning a competition than Hayley does.

So I don't know what to do.

I like the people that Hayley has in her corner more than the people that Shilpa has in her corner.

Hayley got annoyed with me yesterday because I was sounding like an asshole and I wasn't giving her the confirmation she was wanting when she came to me about the vote.  So that concerns me now.  I could actually picture Hayley's facial expression when she said to me "Don't talk to me like that" and could picture how angry they were.  That doesn't make me feel good.  Like, is our relationship beyond repair now because I was even considering voting her out after we had agreed to work together?

She doesn't know my circumstances though and I can't very well say...I'm aligned with Shilpa.

Guess I have some pondering to do today.  If I vote to evict Hayley I wouldn't lie about it afterwards.  If I vote to evict Shilpa, I would need to lie about it and say I voted to evict Hayley and eventually my lie would catch up with me.  Not good.  Ugh.

I'm going to feel like an awful person if I evict Hayley.  But I don't think Hayley benefits my game at all besides having my back. And I have plenty of people that I think would have my back as harsh as that sounds.  If this were Survivor, I would never turn my back on Hayley.  But this is an entirely different type of game.  I finally have an official alliance and I'll look extremely bad if I turn my back on it right now.  Safety in numbers, and I'd still have plenty of good relationships to count on.

Sounds like I'm leaning one way already, doesn't it?

Even when Sofia doesn't nominate me, she manages to torture me.

I was pleasantly surprised she held up her deal though.