Week 7 - Diary Room

[heather]

7/25/2015

Be it because Ryan didn't go home or because Hayley and Rachelle did, I dunno, but almost everyone seemed absolutely distraught after yesterday's eviction.  I swear, I felt like I'd wandered into some stranger's wake... it was all just super awkward.  I actually felt bad for Ry because he couldn't even express his excitement over surviving.  He had to wait to celebrate privately with 'Gatorade' later... lame.

In the kitchen, Matt and Mike started banging their heads against the memory wall because Ryan's picture wasn't grayed, while Heaven and Sofia wandered into one of the bedrooms so that Sofia could bitch, and the two of them could reminisce about all the good times that they'd spent with Rachelle.  Meanwhile, in the bathroom, an inconsolable Candice and Keith frantically eulogized Hayley to somber onlookers Boog and Neda.  Is there like a donation fund set up somewhere so that I can send a check?

[heather]

7/25/2015



BLACKOUT WEEK.  FUCK.



Is this Sofia's doing or is someone trying to frame her... IDK.  What a fucking headache.  I feel like I'm probably screwed if nominations stand... I've just gotta try and win Veto now... God I hope that I can win Veto.



I'm so mad at myself for caring so much about a game... I just keep telling myself that it's just a game... but I'm still so upset.  I actually cried when I saw that I was nominated... I'm such a loser.  God Heather, get it together.

[heather]

7/25/2015

Oh how the mighty have fallen.  The irony of this series being called 'Rise & Fall' is not lost on me.  I feel like I went from being queen of the house, comfortably perched up in my ivory tower (also known as the HOH Room,) to being a down-on-my-luck peasant (nominated for eviction and sleeping in a dental chair.)

On the bright side, Brian told me 'don't stop believin'!'  In honor of my good buddy Brian and to give myself good vibes for the POV, I'll let 'Journey' take it from here.

[heather]

7/26/2015

So who really is Head of Household this week?  I swear, this is NOT a fun twist for players.  It breeds so much paranoia but I guess that's good for the viewers...

I think that I've narrowed the pool down to three possible suspects.  The obvious person of interest is Sofia.  She and Zach fought over Rachelle leaving and I did just nominate her.  Someone could easily be trying to frame Sof though, so I'm not completely convinced that it's her.  

I did also just nominate Mike, and I don't think that he's my biggest fan right now.  If he's HOH then maybe there's a larger plan in place, and Zach and I are just two people that he wouldn't mind seeing leave in a worst case scenario.  I don't know why he wouldn't just nominate Heaven and Ryan outright though. 

The last person I'm suspicious of is Heaven.  She claimed that she had to forfeit HOH midway through, but that seems like a cop-out explanation to me.  If Veto is used and Heaven really is in power then I could see her going for a Mike backdoor.  I'm really crossing my fingers for that!  We'll know more if the Veto is used and a replacement needs to be named.

[heather]

7/26/2015

HOLY.  FUCKING.  SHIT.

[heather]

7/27/2015

(This is the worst possible time for me to be moving across the state...   )

[heather]

7/27/2015

(Eureka!  Internet access!  I want to apologize for being so awful with my DR this week.  I've been so busy with my move, and then I could hardly think straight prior to the Veto Ceremony.  Being nominated during Blackout Week, and next to Zach of all people was making me a nervous wreck.  Moving day has finally come though and (almost) gone!  I'm finally settling in so yay!  I should be back to my normal activity level now... that is, if I stay.)



No matter how much people reassure you that it's a 100% guarantee, nothing is ever for sure in this house.  I might be nominated against one of the biggest targets/threats in the entire cast, but I won't be celebrating making Final 13 until after Heaven actually walks out the front door.

When the ceremony was going on and the replacement was being named, my jaw literally dropped.  I was expecting to see Memphis or Nick sitting next to me, but instead I got Heaven, which basically translates to the biggest break that I could get in this game at that very moment.

While I'm elated to actually have a fighting chance, I do honestly feel horrible for Heaven.  I know what it's like now to be nominated and have no idea who put me up, and to be the victim of a backdoor play on top of all that... I can totally empathize.  That's about as stomach churning of a moment as it gets in here.

Heaven was so sweet to me too before Veto was even played, and a part of me feels super guilty now because I wondered at the time if she was just trying to throw me off.  I really like Heaven as a person and I hope that she doesn't take it too hard if she does leave.

I kept thinking too, how screwed I'd be right now too if I'd buckled to the house's pressure last week and put up #Zeaven instead of #Haychelle.  


_Nah...

Without Heaven around, I would be the HOH's target this week... and that's frigging terrifying.

I'm pretty convinced that it's Mike who did all of this, but I wouldn't be shocked if it were Candice or Matt either... it's hard to really fathom that the latter could actually win this HOH but you never know.

I gave Ryan my blessing to evict me this week.  Not that he needs it but I wanted him to know that I understand the kind of position he's in.  If Heaven leaves, the gamer in me knows that I'm gonna be Ryan's closest person, and that's a good thing for me as a player, but as Ry's friend, I still feel really bad.  I definitely didn't want Heaven to go out this soon, and in such an awful way.